"NOT A DAY TO BE HAPPY!"

It was the day before the Israeli Memorial Day, the most important non-religious holiday in Israel.  I was living in Tel Aviv, where I was spending a year writing and directing a new television series called "AGAINST ALL ODDS: In Search of a Miracle".  I had just entered my apartment building and was walking up the stairs, when I saw one of my neighbors, a young man who lived on the floor below.  Proud of the fact I had recently learned the Hebrew expression for 'Happy Holiday',  I smiled and called out "Chag Sameach" as we approached. But instead of returning the greeting, my neighbor turned to me and almost tearfully responded, "This is NOT a day to be happy!  It is a day to remember!

I had deeply offended this young man because I had yet to learn how seriously, almost reverently, Israelis honor those who have died in the service of their country's freedom.  Back home, most of US would be planning a big picnic or a trip to the beach or a shopping spree for the big "Memorial Day Sale" - but not here.  Thankfully, my neighbor accepted my apology and we remained friends.   But I could have avoided my blunder had I taken the time to learn more about the culture of Israel before I got there.  Granted I had visited many times.  But I had never actually LIVED there as a resident as I was doing then.

The next morning, on the 'eve' before Memorial Day itself (an Israeli day begins at sundown), I was in a taxi on busy Dizengoff Street in Tel Aviv.  Suddenly, without warning, the driver stopped the car and got out.  I looked around to see that EVERY driver had stopped and was doing the same thing.  On the street, waiters in the outdoor cafes stopped waiting on customers.  Teenagers got off their bicycles.  Pedestrians stopped walking.  Everyone stopped doing what they were doing.  In the distance a siren could be heard.  I looked at my watch.  It was 10 o'clock in the morning.  After a minute, the siren ended and everyone went on their way.  My driver got back in the car and silently drove on to my destination.   I later learned the scene had been repeated everywhere in Israel, even on the freeways, as five lanes of cars, trucks, and buses stopped wherever they were and their occupants got out and stood in a moment of honor for the dead. It was one of the most moving experiences of my first year living in Israel.

Ever since that experience, I have made a point of trying to be more aware and sensitive to other cultures and traditions whenever I travel.   I encourage you to do the same. If you are a television or film professional, you will almost for certain someday have the opportunity to experience a culture other than your own, be it a different social group in your own country or an entirely different people in an exotic distant land.  When those times come, make every effort to learn the traditions and customs, to know the social mores and taboos, to find someone who can mentor you on cultural etiquette in the place you are going BEFORE you get there.  Then find someone who will also mentor your manners after you arrive.  The result will be an enriched experience for you and a more pleasant relationship with those you meet -- and that WILL be a day to be Happy!