"Friends are NOT Forever..."

Recently, I've been co-writing the memoirs of a prominent Hollywood executive whose circle of friendships over the decades reads like a 'who's who' of the motion picture and television elite.  I'm having a blast sitting with him hour after hour as he regales me with his personal stories of Hollywood's legends.  There's only one shadow over all these fantastic memories.  My friend is 84 years old.  Almost everyone he has known in the most intimate of friendships is gone.  He has his memories and they are a rich source of his satisfaction in life now, true!  But he can't pick up the phone and talk to them or take them to lunch or join them on the tennis court or on the golf course.  They can't plan a night at the theater or get together for dinner and cigars (as he did with George Burns every Thursday night for over forty years!)   Every day that we work on the book together, I'm reminded of a powerful truth....Friends do not last forever!

We never know how long we have with our friends.  For my co-author, most of his friends lived long and fruitful lives, leaving behind a lifetime legacy.

But I am reminded of a personal experience that was different.

I was a senior in college and directing my first television series, a weekly inspirational program called "Right Now" on the local ABC affiliate in Tulsa.  Always on the lookout for talent, I invited a fellow student who was both a good friend and a brilliant classical pianist by the name of Todd Reaves to be on the show.  Todd's incredible talent, coupled with his dashing good looks, made him a fantastic performer.  We produced the 'live to tape' program on a Thursday night, as I recall. We finished the shoot and Todd hurried back to campus to study for an exam the next day. I took my two man stage crew, consisting of my present and past roommates at the time, Ken Smith and Phil Stetson, to dinner at the local Howard Johnsons.  (An aside:  I had to convince the producers to pay for my friends' dinner since they would have missed the dinner hour on campus.  The Howard Johnson's late night special was all we could afford on what we were given to eat on...but no one complained!)   Anyway, we had dinner and return to campus.  There was a note waiting for me.  My friend Todd never made it back to the university that night.  He was only a block away from campus when his motorcycle was struck broadside by a motorist running a light.  Todd was killed instantly.  The program we had videotaped a few hours before became a memorial to a brilliant young talent and a dear friend whose life was cut short at 21.  We never said goodbye!

One night my wife and I were at home going about a normal event-less evening, when the front door opened and our teenage son David stumbled into the entry hall, a trail of blood following him into the house.  His motorcycle had clipped the rear view mirror of a passing car on the freeway.  At 60 miles an hour, my son lost control of his bike and went tumbling across five lanes of speeding traffic.  That he survived was incredible.  That he walked in the door on his own two legs was nothing short of a miracle.   Some 'mom nursing' and David was soon back to normal...still amazing when I think about it!  It strengthened David's faith that God had an unfinished purpose for his life.  He should have been killed or maimed for life!   That incident reminded me how we never know from one moment to the next when we'll never see someone we care about again.   What if I had not told my son that day that I loved him?  What if a parting harsh word had been the last thing he heard from his dad this side of eternity?  Thankfully I will never know!  But the outcome of that night could have been much different.

I have one memory that IS a regret...an avoidable one.  I share it because it may help you to be a better friend to someone sometime.

One of my dearest friends in Hollywood was Romain Johnston,  three time Emmy-winning scenic designer for scores of award-winning television specials and national events.  His work was incredible and he was a beautiful and generous person as well.  Many years my senior, Romain and I shared a creative chemistry that grew into a deep friendship.  Romain designed the sets for some of my best television shows.

One year, Romain designed a Billy Graham Christmas special that we filmed at the Air Force Academy and on locations around Pikes Peak in Colorado.  Romain brought along an exquisite set of  very large nativity figurines that he personally owned to use on the set.  I commented how beautiful they were.   A few weeks later back in LA, Romain showed up at my office one afternoon with a large box.  In it was his nativity figurine collection which he insisted on giving me, despite my protests.  That was my friend Romain.  I think of him every year when I put up that Nativity scene in our home.

Some time later, I had a big television project coming up.  Romain had committed to design the sets.  One day he called me and, uncharacteristically,  asked me to give the show to someone else!   Then he apologized. His doctors had diagnosed a condition (he wouldn't tell me what) that would prevent his working on any stressful big project like mine for the next several months.  True to Romain's attention to follow-through, he'd already called a good friend who could take his place and arranged for us to meet.

Several weeks went by.  Then one afternoon that I shall never forget, I'm on the Hollywood freeway, driving back to my office.  I'm nearing the Cahuenga exit, near where Romain lives in the Hollywood Hills.  I think of getting off the freeway and driving up to see him in his studio.  I knew he'd be there.  He was always in his studio this time of the day if he wasn't on a shoot and these days I knew he would be home.  I entertained the thought, then decided I should get on back to the office.  I'd go see my friend on another day when I had more time...maybe next week.  I passed the exit and kept driving.

Of course, next week there were other obligations and responsibilities and distractions, and the week after, and the week after that.  Several weeks went by.  Then one afternoon the phone rang.  It was  Romain's wife calling.  He had passed away.  I hadn't even heard the news.  She was closing up his studio and knew I would want the drawings and models of the sets Romain had done for me over the years.  My mind raced back to that moment weeks earlier when I had passed up the opportunity to go see my friend, at a time he probably needed to see his friends, but would never have asked.  That also was Romain, not too proud, just too considerate of others to be a 'bother'.   I never had the chance to tell Romain one last time how much he meant to me, how much our friendship had enriched my life and my work, to give him a hug, to say 'goodbye'.  I live with that regret.

I have since determined that whenever a name or the face of a friend comes to mind, not to miss the chance to pick up the phone or write an email or just go see them.  It may be a prompting from God that I need to make sure my friend knows I still care, that I want to be there for them, that if they're going through anything, I'll be praying for them.  And if nothing is going on in their life, at least they will still know I value our friendship, and that's important, too!  I've said this elsewhere, and it's worth oft repeating: At the end of the day our friends and our families are the most important things we have this side of eternity.  Treasure them, nurture your relationships with them, never take even one of them for granted.  They won't always be there...Friends are NOT forever!

"The Devil's In The Details" (a.k.a. "Where's the key...?")

The Boy Scout motto 'Be Prepared' can be applied to anything in life, but it is nowhere more required or more often forgotten, than by young filmmakers, this one included!

Sometimes it happens because too few people are saddled with too many responsibilities (a common plight for young filmmakers with more vision than money to get their ideas up on the screen).  Other times (and for this there is NO EXCUSE)  a person responsible for a task or a group of tasks either fails to prepare a detailed checklist of what has to be done or they make the list and then don't check it and double check it and triple check it to make sure every item on the list is done and done properly! 

Two experiences as a young director taught me this lesson well...

After college, I became staff television director for a big Chicago ad agency, working out of their Hollywood office.  Their most important client was hosting a New Year's Eve national television special.  I would direct.  The agency owner's son, a guy named Ted, was producer.  Talent schedules meant the show would have to be pre-taped in London.   Arrangements were made with a London producer with whom the Agency had worked in the past.  He would arrange the studio, equipment, crew, set construction, everything.  The Agency brass, my boss Ted (the producer), and myself would just  jaunt across the pond a day before the shoot, rest up, do the shoot the next day, take in a day of holiday shopping, then fly home.  Simple, right?  (Hint...Don't answer that yet!) 

It's early December.  We arrive in Merry Ole' England, decked out for Christmas, covered in a blanket of fresh snow (a page out of a Dickens novel (okay I tend to romanticize a tad).  We check into the VERY romantic Savoy Hotel (the most famous, if not also most expensive hotel in London).  The agency knows how to do things first class!  After a sumptuos dinner we take in a play at the equally famous Savoy Theater next door.  Before the play begins we stand and sing "God Save The Queen" to the refrain of the American patriotic song "My Country Tis of Thee".  A little wierd.  Very British!  I like it! The next morning dawns cold and snowy.  I'm grateful we have nothing planned but to rest up for the shoot tomorrow.  Later I plan to check out the legendary English pubs I've heard so much about, sit by a roaring fire,  maybe listen to some Shakespear over an English pint!   Scrap that!  After breakfast my producer Ted casually mentions he's going to go see the studio where they're getting ready for our shoot the next day.  He invites me to come along.  I reply 'Sure'! (I have a choice?!)

We take a cab, one of those boxy black numbers for which London was famous, to the address where the big set for tomorrow's taping is to be set up this afternoon.  The cabby stops.  Ted looks around.  There is nothing that looks remotely like a TV studio in any direction.  Ted double checks the address with the cabby, who assures us this IS the address we gave him.  We get out, perplexed.  Just then one of us notices a small sign at the top of an alley with the numerals of the address we're looking for.  The alley descends for a couple hundred yards to a small door over which a non-descript sign bears the name of the studio where we are supposed to be.  I can tell from his expression that this is NOT what Ted expected.

We go inside to find a small stage barely large enough for a low budget commercial.  Several dozen dancers, musicians, and costumed extras are in the middle of shooting a rock band music video. Cigarette smoke and atmospheric fog mix in the air, adding to the clostrophobia.  Ted looks at me and says, "We're in trouble!"

In less than 24 hours, the Agency's leading client will be arriving to shoot a prime-time television special for global broadcast and the best facilities we can muster is a back alley music video garage studio?!!  Whether or not our client would have been upset by the obviously inferior condition of the studio and blamed it on the Agency's incompetence is inmaterial.   Ted is convinced that disaster looms in the client relations department.  People lose their jobs over stuff like this!

This is pre-cell phone London.  We rush back to the hotel.  Ted takes an empty phone booth in the lobby and calls upstairs to inform the Agency brass of the situation.  He fumes about the London producer they hired to make the arrangements.  But at the moment the priority is tomorrow.  Ted is informed in no uncertain terms that He has to do whatever he has to and correct the situation.  Cost is not a consideration.  Ted hangs up to find that the man he has just verbally excoriated is in the next phone booth, having overheard Ted's rant on the phone.   The exchange that follows is not pleasant.  But then comes the real challenge.  This is London, already noon on the day before we have to shoot.  Where can we find a major studio that can be booked on short notice, assemble a crew, move the set across town, set it up, light it and prep the show in less than 24 hours and make it all seem to anyone walking in tomorrow that this was the plan all along?! 

It's amazing what can happen when those five words are spoken "cost is not a consideration"!  A chunk of heaven and earth can, and in this case, DOES get moved...moved across town and into the most prestigious television studio complex in London.  On their backlot is a complete Shakespearean London set that includes a full-scale Globe Theater.  The stage we are assigned is one of the biggest television studios in London, the same stage where Julie Andrews holiday music specials have been filmed.  They even call it The Julie Andrews Studio.   The set is assembled over night, propped, lit and reset by morning.  The British Director's Guild grants me a special dispensation so I can direct a London union studio crew.   I learn the British term 'vision mixer', what they call our TD (the Technical Director who switches cameras in the booth).  I learn that British crews take Tea Time seriously and so does their union.  The next morning, the talent arrives, never suspecting this wasn't the studio booked for the shoot all along.  We change the talent call time by two hours, but no one suspects the reason.   For me, the whole thing is a great experience working in a famous studio with a crew of professionals who all talk with the same accent as my darling wife Gloria  (who's  also British).  Unlike some American crews, no one here seems to look down on a very young director (I'm 27 and still look 18 at the time).  The shoot goes well.   Everyone goes home happy.  The Agency prestige is still intact.  Everyone keeps their job (being the owner's son saves Ted).  All that is left behind in London is a boatload of cash that didn't have to be spent had someone planned more carefully, had anyone checked and double checked details,  had those in charge not waited until the last minute to discover disaster loomed because of someone's incompetence!  My excuse was that I was still a wet-behind-the-ears kid who didn't know any better.  But I was learning fast...!

Well...maybe not THAT fast.  Fast forward a couple of years.  I'm shooting a Revolutionary War musical drama at historic Fort Ticonderoga in upstate New York.  The producer is a nice enough guy, runs the west coast office of the agency where I'm a director, but way over his head on a big period drama.

We have been shooting scenes for several days in historic locations in the area.  But the most important scenes are set inside the Fort itself.  One problem (okay, call it a challenge!).   Fort Ticonderoga is one of upstate New York's most popular tourist attrations.   The curators will only shut down the fort from tourists for ONE DAY!    I scout the Fort several times, prepare storyboards of every scene, map out a detailed schedule that will get everything shot in one very long shoot day and night.  We can do this!  We have meetings with the department heads.  Nothing is left to chance...or so I think as I get up at 3:00am on the morning of the Fort shoot.

 I ride with the DP and camera crew out to the site.  It's pitch black in the dense forests that surround the national park where the Fort silently looms over the landscape. 

At 4:00 am, a caravan of production trucks pulls into the parking lot, just beyond the gates of the empty Fort.  There's no one around, not even a night guard.  The grip crew set up a bank of floodlights, powered by a portable generator, illuminating a small army of technicians and workers who begin unloading equipment, setting up tents for makeup, wardrobe, props and catering.  By 5:00 am another caravan of buses and cars has delivered  the cast and 200 extras for makeup and wardrobe.  We're on schedule.  A few minues later, the executive producers ('the money suits', I call them) arrive to watch us work. We're spending their money.  I understand.

About this time, the  Director of Photography comes up to me and asks, "Who has the key to the Fort?"  I have a crew of 100 and a cast of 200 all expecting to walk through those gates any minute, not to mention the frugal minded cost-conscious money suits who have arrived 'to watch'.  This is not a question I want to hear!   I respond in as calm a voice as I can, "I don't know.   I'll find out."  I hurry off to find my producer who suddenly realizes nobody, certainly not he,  bothered to make sure the gatekeeper would show up at 5:00 in the morning to let us in.  It never occured to him!  We don't even have a name or an after hours phone number for ANYONE from the Fort. Now I AM in a panic.   If the money dudes discover our incompetence while the clock is ticking on THEIR money, let's just say 'it will not go well'! 

I instruct my department heads to do some of the work here in the parking lot that they were planning on doing after they got inside the fort - to stall for time.  (That plan will only work for so long though and not for all departments.  It's rather hard to focus lights without being in the room where you want to put them!).  But I'll do anything to keep from having everyone crowd around the locked gates just waiting!   I figure as long as the exec producers see everyone doing 'stuff' they won't suspect anything and therefore won't ask any questions, either.  I also start praying!

Drawing on my mid-western logic, I conclude that the gatekeeper likely lives in one of the houses we passed along the road leading to the fort.  This is not a big town!   We send one of the assistant directors to knock on doors.  It's still dark, just past 5:30 in the morning!   When was the last time someone pounded on YOUR door at 5:30 in the morning?!   We consider breaking the lock, but decide doing that might set off alarms and summon the local police who would arrest us all (or maybe just me!)  for tresspasing!  How would that go down?!   We keep stalling instead.  Maybe we'll get lucky and find the gatekeeper at home.


About six o'clock a minor miracle occurs.  I take that back...For me it is a BIG miracle!  The gatekeeper just shows up on his own.  Apparently he woke up, wondered why no one from the film company had asked for the gate key, and just decided to come on down and make sure everything was okay!  Was he a sight for sore eyes!!!  There IS a God!

Disaser was averted.  The executive producers never suspected our incompetence.  My DP DID extract a small pint of blood for losing an hour of his lighting set up time.  But all in all, the rest of the day was a success...just barely!!!

Lessons?  Don't stretch yourself too far.   Have enough people on whatever you're doing so each one can do their job well.  Don't put someone in a job they aren't qualified to do.  If they happen to be the nephew of the boss or a big investor, then give them an assistant who knows what needs to be done and can discreetly make sure it gets done without having to take credit though they did the real work!  Think through every step of every aspect of a shoot or an event or a stage performance.   Plan for things to go wrong.  They will.  They ALWAYS will.  But if you plan well, if you build redundancy (backup) into your procedures and your people, you'll minimize the potential for disaster when bad things happen.  You'll also make life a lot easier for you and everyone else.  You might even end up having fun!   Look at it this way, 'The devil's only in the details unless you get there first!"

'THE BASEBALL BAT..."

I was sitting on the edge of my bed at the Holiday Inn in Asheville, North Carolina, mulling over my flat-lining career as a director and the lack of progress I was making toward my goal of directing feature films, epic television dramas, even mega super-star music specials (they still made music specials back then!).

Why was I on a bed in Asheville, North Carolina, the undisputed film capital of nowhere?  I was in town to direct television coverage of the Billy Graham crusade.  That was part of my dilemma.   I had been directing Billy Graham specials for over a year and getting no closer to my perceived creative Hollywood mega-star director goals.  I had reached a creative stalemate, a plateau from which I saw no progress on the horizon.  I was the ripe old age of 26.

I distinctly remember what happened next.  The thought crossed my mind that what I was doing was dull and boring (those exact words)!   Now I hasten to preface the rest of the story with a disclaimer.  I have never physically seen God or heard an audible voice that others in a room could hear.  But what happened next was just as real as if I had.  I suddenly sensed the presence of someone else in the room and then it seemed that God himself (or possibly the Angel Michael acting on orders)  hit me across the side of the head with a grand slam slugger baseball bat as God literally shouted at me, "Don't you EVER call what I give you to do dull and boring!"  The voice continued, "If you are doing what I have you doing, it is because there is nowhere else I want you to be or to be doing it right now!"

It could not have been more real to me!   I was devastated.  I fell to my knees, begging God for forgiveness for my stupid arrogance and ingratitude for what He had done for me, how He had blessed me.  I vowed that I would always, from that night forward, be grateful for whatever task He chose for me to do.   A warm peace seemed to settle across my spirit and I drifted off to sleep.

The following evening, I was back in the director's chair at the Asheville Billy Graham Crusade.   The music was the same, the entertainment value had not improved, nothing had changed...and everything had changed - because I had changed on the inside, though I didn't yet know it.  I WAS aware that I felt good about what I was doing, that somehow I felt more professional, more engaged, even excited about my work.  I couldn't explain why.

Two weeks later, Walter Bennett, my boss and the executive producer of the telecasts, called.  Walter had just hung up the phone with Alan Chapman, a television executive who occasionally sat in the control room at the crusades.  Alan had been in Asheville.  He wanted to know what had gotten into Tom, who seemed to be more on top of his directing than he had ever seen me before.  He had been impressed both by my performance as a director and by my professional attitude that had inexplicably greatly improved.  He wondered why?!

I knew why!   Tom Ivy had not lost his drive or determination to creatively grow and exploit new opportunities, but he had  lost his ambition to do so at the expense of the mission at hand. Directing that Billy Graham crusade had become the most important creative opportunity of my life for those five days.

In the seven years that I continued to direct Billy Graham telecasts, there was little that changed in the predictable format or staging of the programs.  But I can honestly say that not once did I ever again sit down in the director's chair without feeling this was the most important assignment, the most creative opportunity of my life.  I have tried since then to apply that principle to EVERYTHING I do in life and to every relationship I have.

Let me bring this story home to you.  Students and young professionals often ask me how you get a break in the tv/film business, how do you advance in your career.  That's for another discussion -- but if after you've done all you know to do, as little or much as that may be, I encourage you to rest on THIS truth:   If you have asked God to guide your life -- to superintend what you do and who you know, where your life and your career is headed -- if your desire is with all your heart to serve His kingdom purpose in and through you, then rest assured that where you are right now, what you are doing today, IS precisely where He wants you and what HE wants you to do...even if it SEEMS to be far from the place you think you should be or want to be.   God may be wanting to teach you something important here -- or wants you to help someone else who He will bring across your path.   He may have you here to introduce you to someone who will someday figure in the future He has planned for you.  Only He knows WHY he has you here.  You don't need to know - not right now.   But if you trust Him and His perfect grace and purpose for you in everything, you'll discover a remarkable peace in your dream for meaning and achievement.  In the end, He'll get you where He wants you to be...trust me!    But on the way, may I also offer this bit of experienced advice?   Don't wait to learn this until YOU have to feel a spiritual baseball bat hit you up the side of the head to get your attention, like I did! 

"IT CAN'T BE REAL!"

That's what I said as I walked into the hotel room in Skopje, Macedonia where my cinematographer and friend Don Piper was watching what was obviously a staged CNN newscast inside a movie. On the screen was what appeared to be an Irwin Allen disaster movie.  A towering New York skyscraper descended from the skyline in a billowing cloud of smoke.  The special effects were more realistic than anything I'd ever seen.   But it WASN'T a disaster movie and there were NO special effects.  It was real.  I was watching the World Trade Center collapse on itself in the aftermath of the only foreign attack on American soil since the War of 1812.  It was still morning in America on September 11, 2001.

I doubt many Americans cannot recall precisely where they were on that fateful morning, now more than a decade ago.  My friend and cinematographer / editor Don Piper and I were in our fourth week of an around the world shoot for what would become a six part biographical documentary tv series called "GREAT SOULS", based on the book and hosted by veteran journalist DAVID AIKMAN.  We had come to Skopje because it is the birthplace of Mother Teresa, one of the six remarkable individuals profiled in the series.  This was our last stop before our final shoot in Poland to film segments for episodes on Pope John Paul and Holocaust survivor / Nobel Laureate Eli Wiesel.    

I had gone into the city for some souvenir shopping for the family back home.  My first encounter with this tragic day in America was when I walked into Don's hotel room and saw the World Trade Center collapsing.  Don looked up, an ashen expression on his face as he said, "America is under attack".  Still, it took awhile for me to accept the fact that it was really happening.  We soon learned that all international flights into the United States were cancelled as well.   Thousands of Americans were trapped in Europe for weeks.  As it turned out, the ban was lifted on the very day of our own scheduled flight to New York. 

I will never forget the conversation I had with an Airline representative when I went downtown in Warsaw to reconfirm our flights home.  The young woman was not unkind when the 9/11 attack came up in conversation, but her comment surprised me.  She said, "I'm sorry for those people who died.  But maybe  now you Americans will appreciate what the rest of us in the world go through all the time."    She made me appreciate how protected we Americans really are from the conflicts of the world.  May we remain vigilant so that we never have to experience ANOTHER 9/11 on our shores.   May we never forget what an incredible place of safety we have in America and determine to always honor it, protect it, and serve it.  And may we be equally dedicated to care for the suffering of those around the world who have yet to taste the freedom under God  that is at the core of what makes the United States of America still the most wonderful place on earth!.

"NOT A DAY TO BE HAPPY!"

It was the day before the Israeli Memorial Day, the most important non-religious holiday in Israel.  I was living in Tel Aviv, where I was spending a year writing and directing a new television series called "AGAINST ALL ODDS: In Search of a Miracle".  I had just entered my apartment building and was walking up the stairs, when I saw one of my neighbors, a young man who lived on the floor below.  Proud of the fact I had recently learned the Hebrew expression for 'Happy Holiday',  I smiled and called out "Chag Sameach" as we approached. But instead of returning the greeting, my neighbor turned to me and almost tearfully responded, "This is NOT a day to be happy!  It is a day to remember!

I had deeply offended this young man because I had yet to learn how seriously, almost reverently, Israelis honor those who have died in the service of their country's freedom.  Back home, most of US would be planning a big picnic or a trip to the beach or a shopping spree for the big "Memorial Day Sale" - but not here.  Thankfully, my neighbor accepted my apology and we remained friends.   But I could have avoided my blunder had I taken the time to learn more about the culture of Israel before I got there.  Granted I had visited many times.  But I had never actually LIVED there as a resident as I was doing then.

The next morning, on the 'eve' before Memorial Day itself (an Israeli day begins at sundown), I was in a taxi on busy Dizengoff Street in Tel Aviv.  Suddenly, without warning, the driver stopped the car and got out.  I looked around to see that EVERY driver had stopped and was doing the same thing.  On the street, waiters in the outdoor cafes stopped waiting on customers.  Teenagers got off their bicycles.  Pedestrians stopped walking.  Everyone stopped doing what they were doing.  In the distance a siren could be heard.  I looked at my watch.  It was 10 o'clock in the morning.  After a minute, the siren ended and everyone went on their way.  My driver got back in the car and silently drove on to my destination.   I later learned the scene had been repeated everywhere in Israel, even on the freeways, as five lanes of cars, trucks, and buses stopped wherever they were and their occupants got out and stood in a moment of honor for the dead. It was one of the most moving experiences of my first year living in Israel.

Ever since that experience, I have made a point of trying to be more aware and sensitive to other cultures and traditions whenever I travel.   I encourage you to do the same. If you are a television or film professional, you will almost for certain someday have the opportunity to experience a culture other than your own, be it a different social group in your own country or an entirely different people in an exotic distant land.  When those times come, make every effort to learn the traditions and customs, to know the social mores and taboos, to find someone who can mentor you on cultural etiquette in the place you are going BEFORE you get there.  Then find someone who will also mentor your manners after you arrive.  The result will be an enriched experience for you and a more pleasant relationship with those you meet -- and that WILL be a day to be Happy!

"BE A GOOD LISTENER, THOMAS"

I was a 'wet behind the ears' young director in my mid-twenties in Tokyo, Japan for pre-production meetings for an upcoming television event.  Walter Bennett, my boss and the executive producer, gave me some final words of advice before going into a meeting with the Japanese officials.  "Thomas, keep your mouth shut and be a good listener!"   I did.  We both did.  By doing so we earned the respect of our hosts who, I later learned, had often been disappointed in Americans who jump to conclusions and blurt out their positions before hearing everything in a negotiation.

Once I was on location at Pikes Peak in the Colorado Rockies, directing a celebrity stand-up scene for an upcoming Christmas special.  Wanting to have some 'bonding time' with my young son David, I had brought him along from our home in LA.

Everything was set.  I called 'Action'.  The celebrity did his part well.  Great take!  I was just about to end the scene when I (and everyone else) heard a five year old little boy's voice from over my shoulder confidently call out "Cut!"   Everyone chuckled at the youthful interjection.  Trying to appear as serious as I could, I walked over to David and quietly informed him that what he had done is 'what they pay daddy to do'.  He dutifully promised not to do it again!  David learned to be a listener that wintery day on Pikes Peak.   (Little did either of us know that a few years later,  that little boy would be calling his own cues on his own shoots as a film director in his own right!)

Knowing when to be a good listener is important to becoming a good anything -- but especially, it seems to me, as a film and television writer or director.

While I was still in college, I had the opportunity to visit NBC Studios in Burbank for several days as the guest of Carl Gibson, a veteran NBC lighting designer, who seemed to think I had potential worth encouraging.  Carl got me in the control rooms of the network's biggest shows where I watched producers, directors, technicians, and performers creating music and variety specials, comedy revues, daytime dramas, "The Tonight Show".   I sat within a few feet of some of the biggest names in network television production and watched and listened as they communicated (or didn't) with each other, how they dealt with problems (or made them worse),  how the language of their craft flowed in short-hand conversation between them.  At night I crammed a notebook with what I learned each day.   I was a 'kid' no one of importance.  My anonymity allowed me to roam the halls of the vast NBC Studios unnoticed.  I could ask dumb questions (and I did!) and no one thought less of me for my ignorance.  In fact, they went out of their way to share their knowledge with a kid thirsty to learn.

What I learned was invaluable.  Much of the core technique I use today in directing multi-camera television events was formed in those NBC sessions by being a good listener and observer.   That would be almost impossible to do now.  Established directors seldom sit in on other directors at work.  It's almost an unspoken professional courtesy not to do so.  Yet how I treasure those times when I have been able to do just that.   As instructive as those experiences have been on what to do, they have often been equally as valuable in observing what NOT to do. 

If you are young, just getting started, or at any age in your career, and you have the opportunity to 'be a good listener' and learn from others, jump at the chance.  It doesn't happen often enough.  The rewards will be incalculable -- not to mention the business cards and phone numbers you may pick up along the way that may turn into future professional relationships or even friendships.

My friend Carl Gibson left NBC a long time ago to start ACADEMY LIGHTING CONSULTANTS.  He's still lighting big shows in Hollywood and knowing Carl, still mentoring young 'would be' directors.  This one would just like to say 'Thanks again, Carl...if you're listening!"

"NOON BALOON"

I had just flown into Costa Rica.  I was about to meet my crew – well, not really MY crew, but the local news crew my producer had hired to avoid spending the money to fly my American crew down from LA for the documentary I was there to shoot.   I was concerned. 

A good television news crew must be able to quickly capture enough images to provide a reporter with visual coverage for a breaking story.  The FACTS of the story are what is essential to good news reporting.  A documentary film crew has an additional need to find those compelling images that tell a deeper story, often one with strong emotional elements.  But like a news director, a documentary filmmaker seldom has the opportunity to set up every shot or to check playback on every take.   If he is not the cameraman himself,  he must rely on his camera crew to jump into a moment and be ‘self-directed’ in capturing emotionally-compelling images, as well as filming sufficient angle choices to provide adequate material for later editing the sequence.   This kind of photo-journalism is an art and few do it well.   I needed to understand what these guys could do.

I set about to explain the emotional character of the material I was hoping to shoot, contrasting straight news photography (with which I knew they were very familiar) and photo-journalism documentary film-making (of which I had no idea of their experience or understanding).   After a few moments, the cameraman (who I had only met a few minutes before) leaned over and said, “You know Tom, we didn’t just drop in on the noon balloon!”   What he was trying to politely tell me was ‘Shut up, stupid!  We know what we’re doing!”   I said no more.  We went on location.  We shot for several days.  The material would have made great clips on the evening news.  It was not photo-journalism. 

In the end, I had to agree with their assessment.  They had NOT just dropped in – they never got there!   We  somehow  made the material work.  But the resulting film fell far short of what it COULD have been.  I DID come away with an expression I’ve been able to use many times since then.  The next time someone who doesn’t know you is questioning  YOUR skills or ability to do something,  you can gently remind them that ‘you didn’t just drop in on the noon balloon’.   They’ll either smile and believe you or be more convinced than ever that you’re not the one for their job!  Good luck!

"YES, DR. IVY?"

If you've worked in this business for any length of time, you've no doubt met (and probably at some time had to work with or under) producers or directors who seemed to enjoy exercising their authority over others - celebrities who flaunted their sense of superiority, all the while making you feel less than accepted or respected as an individual or as a professional.  But the REAL celebrities, the men and women who truly are STARS, seem to go out of their way to make you feel important, no matter who you are or what your position.  Billy Graham first did that for me.

I was about to meet 'the man' himself.  By then, the Rev. Billy Graham was already a household name around the world.  He had spoken face to face with more people than anyone in history, was a friend and confidant to every President since Dwight D. Eisenhower, "The Most Admired Man In America", according to a Gallup Poll.  And I had just been assigned by the ad agency I worked for and which had charge of his media production, to direct the Billy Graham television programs.

It was a heady assignment for a young director without a big network portfolio -- unlike the retiring director I was replacing.  Sonny Diskin was a veteran network television director who had covered the first NASA moon shots for ABC News.  What had I done?  Not much, not by then at any rate!

So here we were about an hour before Dr. Graham was to address thousands of people in one of his city-wide meetings, with a freshman tv director, me, about to helm the six camera 'live to tape' television coverage.  I was nervous as ('that place other than heaven'), though I made a noble effort to hide it!

I had already met Cliff Barrows and other officials of Dr. Graham's organization and they had accepted my boss's assurances that this 26 year old (who still looked 18 at the time!) was the right man for the job.  But I had yet to meet Billy Graham himself.  That was about to happen.   I entered a room just off of the stadium arena where Dr. Graham had been meeting with local dignitaries.  The head of the agency, my boss, Walter Bennett, and several others were there.  Dr. Graham was seated on a sofa at the far end of the room.  As I entered, he saw me, moved to one side, smiled and motioned for me to join him.  I sat down, turned to this great man of faith and worldwide fame, and blurted out, "Dr. Graham...."

I'm not sure what I had planned to say next, but before I could continue, he responded with "Yes, Dr. Ivy?"  I was caught off guard.  In the awkwardness of the moment that followed, he leaned across the sofa, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "I'll tell you what, Tom.  If you don't call me 'Dr. Graham', I won't call you 'Dr. Ivy'.  Agreed?"  I replied 'yes sir'.  He continued, "You can call me Bill or Billy or whatever you like, but you don't need to call me 'Dr. Graham', okay?  I smiled and nodded.   He went on to ask me about my family, my church, welcomed me to the Billy Graham team, and ten minutes later I was facing a bank of television monitors directing my first Billy Graham telecast.  I would do scores of others over the next eight years in cities across America and capitals around the world.  It would become a lifelong friendship that I treasure to this day.

Charlton Heston was another true 'star' in the firmament of celebrities I have had the privilege to observe close up.  Several years ago, I traveled around the world with Chuck, his wife Lydia, and daughter Polly,  on a production that took us to some of the remotest out-of-the-way corners of the globe.  Whenever he entered a room, Chuck would walk around and introduce himself to everyone there in a totally unassuming gesture of friendship.  Though at the time he was one of the most famous actors in the world, he made everyone in his presence feel relaxed and valued.

One time in the Bangkok Airport, waiting for a flight with Chuck and a film crew, we were all ushered into a private waiting room.  There was no air conditioning and everyone was hot and uncomfortable.  After awhile, Chuck excused himself and left the room.  When he returned, he had managed to rustle up bottles of cold beer for everyone, and he proceeded to pass them out like a dutiful production assistant with the comment, "...Thought this might help!"   Charlton Heston was a REAL STAR!

Bringing this home...  No matter where YOU are on the ladder of success, and you may still consider yourself on a pretty 'low rung',  there are nonetheless others who see themselves lower than you on the proverbial totem pole.  Make them understand by what you say and how you behave that you consider them to be just as important as you, that you respect them as equals, even as you both respect your respective professional positions.   You will not only receive their respect, you may gain their friendship.  If they sense you are genuine in your feelings, you will also gain their admiration.  When the time comes, and I speak from experience, they will repay you by giving you their very best, just as I felt compelled to do for Billy Graham and Charlton Heston and others like them over the years.  "Yes, Dr. Ivy?" 

DON'T JUDGE TOO SOON

It was a busy day in the studio.  We were pre-recording choral vocal tracks for a Christmas Special.  Ralph Carmichael, who had been an arranger for Nat King Cole and tons of other Hollywood artists, was conducting the session.   Ralph was a legend in Hollywood jazz circles.  He liked to tell the story of trying to get musicians to play on a big studio session 'back when'.  The real pros didn't want to do it since it was considered a 'rock' session and in those days, rock was considered a second-class citizen by lots of  'serious' musicians.  The 'rock' score being recorded?  "Born Free"!   Shows you how times have changed.  

Anyway, I turned to Ralph and shared something I'd been going through.  I had made a decision about something that at the time seemed right  - even the more spiritual choice.   Yet, something came along that totally contradicted what I had done, left me floundering for what to do next.  And this wasn't the first time.   Ralph, considerably my senior in both age and wisdom, looked at me, smiled and told me a 'modern parable'.   Imagine your life as a giant canvas.  You are the painter.  Sometimes you feel in your heart that God is telling you to dip your brush into the paint and brush your canvas with bright yellow paint.   You stand back.  It looks beautiful, like the morning sun.  Then, before you know it, something or someone comes along and blue paint is thrown all over  your yellow, completely obliterating what you had done.  You feel betrayed, misled, confused.   God is silent.  But after awhile you gaze at the canvas and realize that God was not after yellow in your life, nor was he after blue.   He wanted to produce a brilliant emerald green!   It required your obedience to put down yellow,  something or someone else to add blue, in order to realize God's intended  result on the canvas of your life.  The moral of the parable?  "Don't judge the painting before it's finished!"    Ralph encouraged me through that little parable to never see the circumstances at any point of my life as the end, but rather as the next step in the journey of life, a step that will lead to other steps, that in the end, will produce what God has intended all along!   I'm often reminded of that story when I'm tempted to be discouraged because something doesn't go as I think it should, or I face a difficulty, or MY agenda gets changed and I don't know what's happening.   Pass the paint brush!  Thank you, Ralph!