"Friends are NOT Forever..."

Recently, I've been co-writing the memoirs of a prominent Hollywood executive whose circle of friendships over the decades reads like a 'who's who' of the motion picture and television elite.  I'm having a blast sitting with him hour after hour as he regales me with his personal stories of Hollywood's legends.  There's only one shadow over all these fantastic memories.  My friend is 84 years old.  Almost everyone he has known in the most intimate of friendships is gone.  He has his memories and they are a rich source of his satisfaction in life now, true!  But he can't pick up the phone and talk to them or take them to lunch or join them on the tennis court or on the golf course.  They can't plan a night at the theater or get together for dinner and cigars (as he did with George Burns every Thursday night for over forty years!)   Every day that we work on the book together, I'm reminded of a powerful truth....Friends do not last forever!

We never know how long we have with our friends.  For my co-author, most of his friends lived long and fruitful lives, leaving behind a lifetime legacy.

But I am reminded of a personal experience that was different.

I was a senior in college and directing my first television series, a weekly inspirational program called "Right Now" on the local ABC affiliate in Tulsa.  Always on the lookout for talent, I invited a fellow student who was both a good friend and a brilliant classical pianist by the name of Todd Reaves to be on the show.  Todd's incredible talent, coupled with his dashing good looks, made him a fantastic performer.  We produced the 'live to tape' program on a Thursday night, as I recall. We finished the shoot and Todd hurried back to campus to study for an exam the next day. I took my two man stage crew, consisting of my present and past roommates at the time, Ken Smith and Phil Stetson, to dinner at the local Howard Johnsons.  (An aside:  I had to convince the producers to pay for my friends' dinner since they would have missed the dinner hour on campus.  The Howard Johnson's late night special was all we could afford on what we were given to eat on...but no one complained!)   Anyway, we had dinner and return to campus.  There was a note waiting for me.  My friend Todd never made it back to the university that night.  He was only a block away from campus when his motorcycle was struck broadside by a motorist running a light.  Todd was killed instantly.  The program we had videotaped a few hours before became a memorial to a brilliant young talent and a dear friend whose life was cut short at 21.  We never said goodbye!

One night my wife and I were at home going about a normal event-less evening, when the front door opened and our teenage son David stumbled into the entry hall, a trail of blood following him into the house.  His motorcycle had clipped the rear view mirror of a passing car on the freeway.  At 60 miles an hour, my son lost control of his bike and went tumbling across five lanes of speeding traffic.  That he survived was incredible.  That he walked in the door on his own two legs was nothing short of a miracle.   Some 'mom nursing' and David was soon back to normal...still amazing when I think about it!  It strengthened David's faith that God had an unfinished purpose for his life.  He should have been killed or maimed for life!   That incident reminded me how we never know from one moment to the next when we'll never see someone we care about again.   What if I had not told my son that day that I loved him?  What if a parting harsh word had been the last thing he heard from his dad this side of eternity?  Thankfully I will never know!  But the outcome of that night could have been much different.

I have one memory that IS a regret...an avoidable one.  I share it because it may help you to be a better friend to someone sometime.

One of my dearest friends in Hollywood was Romain Johnston,  three time Emmy-winning scenic designer for scores of award-winning television specials and national events.  His work was incredible and he was a beautiful and generous person as well.  Many years my senior, Romain and I shared a creative chemistry that grew into a deep friendship.  Romain designed the sets for some of my best television shows.

One year, Romain designed a Billy Graham Christmas special that we filmed at the Air Force Academy and on locations around Pikes Peak in Colorado.  Romain brought along an exquisite set of  very large nativity figurines that he personally owned to use on the set.  I commented how beautiful they were.   A few weeks later back in LA, Romain showed up at my office one afternoon with a large box.  In it was his nativity figurine collection which he insisted on giving me, despite my protests.  That was my friend Romain.  I think of him every year when I put up that Nativity scene in our home.

Some time later, I had a big television project coming up.  Romain had committed to design the sets.  One day he called me and, uncharacteristically,  asked me to give the show to someone else!   Then he apologized. His doctors had diagnosed a condition (he wouldn't tell me what) that would prevent his working on any stressful big project like mine for the next several months.  True to Romain's attention to follow-through, he'd already called a good friend who could take his place and arranged for us to meet.

Several weeks went by.  Then one afternoon that I shall never forget, I'm on the Hollywood freeway, driving back to my office.  I'm nearing the Cahuenga exit, near where Romain lives in the Hollywood Hills.  I think of getting off the freeway and driving up to see him in his studio.  I knew he'd be there.  He was always in his studio this time of the day if he wasn't on a shoot and these days I knew he would be home.  I entertained the thought, then decided I should get on back to the office.  I'd go see my friend on another day when I had more time...maybe next week.  I passed the exit and kept driving.

Of course, next week there were other obligations and responsibilities and distractions, and the week after, and the week after that.  Several weeks went by.  Then one afternoon the phone rang.  It was  Romain's wife calling.  He had passed away.  I hadn't even heard the news.  She was closing up his studio and knew I would want the drawings and models of the sets Romain had done for me over the years.  My mind raced back to that moment weeks earlier when I had passed up the opportunity to go see my friend, at a time he probably needed to see his friends, but would never have asked.  That also was Romain, not too proud, just too considerate of others to be a 'bother'.   I never had the chance to tell Romain one last time how much he meant to me, how much our friendship had enriched my life and my work, to give him a hug, to say 'goodbye'.  I live with that regret.

I have since determined that whenever a name or the face of a friend comes to mind, not to miss the chance to pick up the phone or write an email or just go see them.  It may be a prompting from God that I need to make sure my friend knows I still care, that I want to be there for them, that if they're going through anything, I'll be praying for them.  And if nothing is going on in their life, at least they will still know I value our friendship, and that's important, too!  I've said this elsewhere, and it's worth oft repeating: At the end of the day our friends and our families are the most important things we have this side of eternity.  Treasure them, nurture your relationships with them, never take even one of them for granted.  They won't always be there...Friends are NOT forever!

"Will The Show Really Go On?"

If you were to wander into the cockpit of a 747 jumbo jet or the cabin of the Space Shuttle, you'd be  struck by the redundant systems on board these engineering marvels.  Okay, you'd probably be shot by an Air Marshall or an Air Force Marine first, but as you were falling to the floor that's what you'd see!   The builders of these technological marvels realized that no machine is fail safe.  Sooner or later the best designed and built systems will mallfunction in some way.  If the failure occurs in a primary system in mid-flight, the result can be distastrous, even fatal for hundreds of people.  There's no pulling over to the side of the road to wait for the Auto Club to bring a tow truck!

The same is true if you're the producer or director of a live show - or plan to be one somewhere in your future. Personally, I've produced everything from small church events to VIP black tie Hollywood Charity dinners for a thousand, arena shows for 50,000, stage plays and movie premiers, and my share of music concerts for 30,000 screaming teenagers.  The principles at work are the same for all of them.  Once the curtain goes up or the show starts, there's no stopping until the final curtain call or the smoke clears from the finale pyrotechnics and the hall empties.  Yet all too many producers and directors fail to take precautions to avoid showstoppers of the non-welcome variety! 

Several years ago, I had an experience that jolted my awareness of this truth.

I was producing and directing what turned out to be the last public event of the legendary "King and Queen of the Cowboys", a star-studded tribute to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.  Co-hosted by Gene Autry, Johnny Cash, and Roy and Dale's close friend Dr. Billy Graham, the guest list read like a who's who of a bygone era of television and the movies.  But my favorite guest, the one star who made the event special for me personally, was none other than the masked man himself, The Lone Ranger, Clayton Moore.  I remember going out to meet him and his dear wife at their home outside  of Los Angeles several days before the show.  I'm driving down the freeway when it suddenly hits me.  I'm about to meet the Lone Ranger himself and without his mask.  This is an awesome moment for a kid who grew up watching re-run cowboy movie serials every Saturday morning.  The visit was no less delightful.  The Moores graciously hosted me in their home.  Before I left, Clayton autographed pictures for both me and my young son, even though David's movie stars were still confined to the Sesame Street Muppet universe at that point.   I reluctantly left, feeling higher than a kite!  I had met the Lone Ranger.  How could your life be the same after that?!

So here we were on the day of the show.  It was a black tie, $1,000 a plate dinner, the proceeds going to the good work of The Salvation Army (a group of dedicated folks I've had the privilege of serving on several projects over the years).   We finished rehearsals with the young singers and dancers who were to perform on the show, then took a break.  It was early afternoon.  The show call for cast and crew was several hours away.  I needed to go back to my office for something (I forget now just what) but in any event, I left the venue, the Universal City Hilton ballroom, perched just above Universal Studios.  My office was in Hollywood, just over the hill.  I could easily make it back before the show call.  I hurried outside and drove away.

A couple hours later, my mission away accomplished, I'm driving back to Universal City on the 101 Hollywood Freeway when I suddenly had a frightening thought.  Were something to happen to me right then and I didn't get back to the Hilton ballroom, the entire show would collapse.  No one else knew all of the cues, knew the live script well enough to call the show backwards and forwards, knew it well enough to deal with anything that might come up.  In short, I was indispensible to the show's success - not a good thing, not a good thing at all!

I made a decision that afternoon that would forever change how I work.  I determined I would never again put myself in a position to be indispensible to the succcess of a live show or event I was producing or directing. I would make certain that someone else knew everything they would need to know to replace me without the audience ever knowing I was not there.  But not only me, I determined on shows I produced  to make certain every department head assigned someone on their team to be their shadow as well, in the event THEY were prevented from carrying out their responsibilities for a performance.   Stage performers have done this for generations.  How many famous careers have been launched because a celebrity couldn't go on and their understudy filled in at the last minute?   I simply applied the same principle to the positions of producer and director and the other staff positions vital to a live show.  I DID make it back that night.  The Roy and Dale tribute was a great success, but more about that in a moment...

Fast forward a few years.   David Moore, Director of Communications for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and a close personal friend, calls me one afternoon about producing and directing the official Groundblessing Ceremonies for the new Cathedral of Los Angeles, "Our Lady of the Angels".   I'm thinking 'groundblessing', 'groundbreaking', a few old guys standing around a hole with gold painted shovels, wearing hard hats, making a few boring speeches, posing for pictures. Why do they need me?

I found out soon enough.  Not only will this be the last cathedral to be built in the world in the 20th century, but the GroundBlessing is to be a City of Los Angeles official event.  A parade of 6,000 in uniformed dress will march through the streets of downtown LA from the old cathedral to the site of the new one. A thousand voice choir will greet the parade at the new Cathedral site where the mayor and city officials join church leaders for a festive ceremony.  Pope John Paul II will send a Papal greeting to the audience of 20,000 assembled from across Southern California (a traffic logistics challenge).   A bulldozer will move the earth as balloons are released over the sky above Los Angeles.  This is a big deal!

I have three dozen department heads managing an event staff of some 200, who in turn oversee over a thousand volunteers.  The event is a year in the planning.  At our first planning meeting, I hand out a form on which each department head not only fills out their own information, but must identify and provide contact information for the individual they have designated as their shadow, the person who will do their job on the day of the event should they fall sick of donut poisoning and die during rehearsals the day before.   The 'backup' staff will be asked to join key planning meetings.  In most cases, the person chosen is already the senior assistant to the person they are shadowing.

Beyond insuring that there is a backup person for every vital position on the live show crew, I have learned in the years of doing this that it makes everyone a better manager (including me), more thoughtful, more careful about the details of their job.  It makes sense.  If you have to communicate everything you are doing to someone else, you become more aware and intentional about what you're doing yourself. The level of excellence rises at every level of the production. 

 The night before the Ground Blessing  event  I walk through the empty site.  A bright moon pierces a star filled night sky overhead.  Long silk banners flutter from the white towers that frame the stage I designed to evoke a sense of Cathedral towers of yesteryear.  A holy peace seems to fill the space.  In a few hours thousands of the faithful will gather to make history as they dedicate this site forever to the worship of almighty God in the great Cathedral that will soon rise on this land.  I walk to the spot in the middle of the audience where blueprints tell me the altar of the new church will be built.  Tomorrow, the Cardinal will walk from the stage to this spot and bless it.  I am humbled to be here.

The last rehearsal ended hours ago. Every department head has checked in.  We are ready.  I go home. But the night is short.  I return just after dawn.  Monsignor Kevin Kostelnik, who will be the Cathedral's first pastor,  holds mass under the choir bleachers for the production staff and volunteers.  It is unofficially the first mass to be held at the new Cathedral. I have a sense I am part of something historic.  The Cathedral has been planned to stand for hundreds of years.   

The event goes off without a hitch.  No staff backup replacements are needed but they are there and ready had they been.  I go home exhausted and pleased.  So do 20,000 people who have taken part in an historic event in Los Angeles today.

Back to that Roy Rogers tribute event...  It's a good thing I DID make it back.  In the middle of the show, a big musical medley was being performed by a soloist and a troup of dancers.  The opening dance sequence had bridged into a solo performance by the vocalist while the dancers (still on stage) waited for the next section to begin. Suddenly in the middle of the singer's solo, the background music stopped.  The audio engineer and I looked at each other totally perplexed.  The playback audio deck had frozen without explanation.  On stage, the singer amazingly kept singing like this was SUPPOSED to be an acappella section. What a trouper!  But I knew what was coming.  In 60 seconds,  the dancers are supposed to join the singer to complete the eight minute sequence with a high energy vocal / dance finale.  It will not happen without music.  The show...MY SHOW...will come to a crashingly embarrassing halt.  

The audio engineer checks the playback deck.  Whatever caused it to freeze has unfrozen!  The deck is working fine.  I have an idea of how to save the show!   I throw on a pair of headphones and fast forward on the track as quickly as I can to find the point on the track where the dancers come back in.  (If you are a musician you know that there is no melody line on background tracks for vocalists, only harmony.  The singer provides the melody.  Finding the downbeat for an edit point on a harmony track in the middle of an 8 minute medley is easier said than done!)  With only a few seconds to spare and a silent prayer, I find the note starting the next part of the medley.  I signal the engineer.  I will hit play and he is to instantly slide up the volume, not fade it in.  If we do it right, it will seem to the audience that this was the way it is supposed to be!  I count the beats of the music as the vocalist approaches the mark for the dancers to join.  On stage, I can tell they have no idea what's going on and we have no way to warn them.  We hit the moment.  I restart the track.  On stage the dancers don't miss a beat.  The show is saved.  So am I.  Disaster is averted.  Had I not been there, no one else could have saved the moment.  No one else knew the show, knew the music, would have known what to do.  Today, they would!

Why wouldn't anybody working on a show want to have a backup to protect the continuity of a live performance that their absence could jeopardize.   It's simple. It takes a risk to make yourself 'dispensible'.  It goes against what we have been taught about job security.  It defies our selfish logic that tells us we SHOULD make ourselves indispensible to any endeavor's success, that to do so affirms our worth, increases our value.  But in the world of theater and live events, a higher logic must prevail: a commitment to the success of the show that compells a true professional to make certain you have done your very best to insure that no matter what, "The Show WILL go on!"   The person who works with that kind of attitude is someone I want to work with...someone that to me IS indispensible!

"SO IT'S THANKSGIVING"

It's been my privilege to travel over much of the world, including four complete circumnavigations of the globe (shades of 'Around The World in 80 Days' sans the balloon).  I've worked in many of the world's great cities and some of the most remote corners of the earth.  The downside to all that experience is the time it has taken away from home, from my wife and children, from dear friends, and church, too, usually for weeks and often for several months at a time.  Somehow my loving wife Gloria and my remarkable children (they really are!) have managed to stay close together.  I credit that to God!

But no matter where I travel and what I'm doing, there are two events at home that I do everything possible to make sure I don't miss -- Thanksgiving and Christmas!    While I think of EVERY day with my darling Gloria as a day of celebration (which is a good thing were I to confess how many anniversaries I've missed), Christmas and Thanksgiving are the two occasions when we celebrate our entire family.   Over the years I've missed maybe 4 Thanksgivings - but not one Christmas (though I've come close a few times)!

One of the Thanksgivings I DID miss found me in Manila, preparing for directing the television coverage of a Billy Graham crusade (one of the week-long speaking missions he conducted in almost every major city of the world).  Hundreds of thousands attended those meetings in the Philippines.  As Thanksgiving approached, the hotel chef announced he would be serving a tradional Thanksgiving dinner.  For a young homesick director, this conjured up wistful images of home.  The menu promised roast turkey with stuffing and all the trimmings, cranberry sause, pumpkin pie.  I could hardly wait.  But with the first bite I was reminded of Dorothy in Oz.  We were certainly 'not in Kansas'.  We weren't even near America and it sure wasn't a 'traditional Thanksgiving dinner'.  An 'A' for effort, but it all tasted Philippino by the time it came out of the kitchen!  I ended the day more homesick than ever.

I encourage you to identify those marker days in the calendar that mean the most to you and to the people you care most about.  It could be your anniversary or your mom's birthday or like me, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Then make every effort to protect celebration of those occasions from the temptation to never turn down work or to never raise your voice to suggest a schedule change that could allow you to be home on the days that matter most to you and those you love.  Most people will respect you for it - maybe even change something to make it happen for you.  Even so, I've missed a few Thanksgiving celebrations, but those I love knew how much I wanted to be there.

It will be hard to keep a perfect record if you're successful as a filmmaker, television, or live event professional.  On more than one occasion I've flown out the day after Christmas to load in a New Year's show somewhere.  That I've never missed a Christmas is a blessing from God for which I'm grateful.    There will ALWAYS be opportunities, even creative ones, to keep you away from what is ultimately the most important part of this life - the people we care about and who care for us.  But when all else fails, when the phone doesn't ring and no one is hitting your website or checking out your LinkedIn page for job referrals, it is the people who have loved you all along that will still be there for you.  Don't take them for granted or the chances you have now to be with them, to celebrate them, to enjoy them, to GIVE THANKS for them...That's what I'm doing this Thanksgiving! 

  

'THE BASEBALL BAT..."

I was sitting on the edge of my bed at the Holiday Inn in Asheville, North Carolina, mulling over my flat-lining career as a director and the lack of progress I was making toward my goal of directing feature films, epic television dramas, even mega super-star music specials (they still made music specials back then!).

Why was I on a bed in Asheville, North Carolina, the undisputed film capital of nowhere?  I was in town to direct television coverage of the Billy Graham crusade.  That was part of my dilemma.   I had been directing Billy Graham specials for over a year and getting no closer to my perceived creative Hollywood mega-star director goals.  I had reached a creative stalemate, a plateau from which I saw no progress on the horizon.  I was the ripe old age of 26.

I distinctly remember what happened next.  The thought crossed my mind that what I was doing was dull and boring (those exact words)!   Now I hasten to preface the rest of the story with a disclaimer.  I have never physically seen God or heard an audible voice that others in a room could hear.  But what happened next was just as real as if I had.  I suddenly sensed the presence of someone else in the room and then it seemed that God himself (or possibly the Angel Michael acting on orders)  hit me across the side of the head with a grand slam slugger baseball bat as God literally shouted at me, "Don't you EVER call what I give you to do dull and boring!"  The voice continued, "If you are doing what I have you doing, it is because there is nowhere else I want you to be or to be doing it right now!"

It could not have been more real to me!   I was devastated.  I fell to my knees, begging God for forgiveness for my stupid arrogance and ingratitude for what He had done for me, how He had blessed me.  I vowed that I would always, from that night forward, be grateful for whatever task He chose for me to do.   A warm peace seemed to settle across my spirit and I drifted off to sleep.

The following evening, I was back in the director's chair at the Asheville Billy Graham Crusade.   The music was the same, the entertainment value had not improved, nothing had changed...and everything had changed - because I had changed on the inside, though I didn't yet know it.  I WAS aware that I felt good about what I was doing, that somehow I felt more professional, more engaged, even excited about my work.  I couldn't explain why.

Two weeks later, Walter Bennett, my boss and the executive producer of the telecasts, called.  Walter had just hung up the phone with Alan Chapman, a television executive who occasionally sat in the control room at the crusades.  Alan had been in Asheville.  He wanted to know what had gotten into Tom, who seemed to be more on top of his directing than he had ever seen me before.  He had been impressed both by my performance as a director and by my professional attitude that had inexplicably greatly improved.  He wondered why?!

I knew why!   Tom Ivy had not lost his drive or determination to creatively grow and exploit new opportunities, but he had  lost his ambition to do so at the expense of the mission at hand. Directing that Billy Graham crusade had become the most important creative opportunity of my life for those five days.

In the seven years that I continued to direct Billy Graham telecasts, there was little that changed in the predictable format or staging of the programs.  But I can honestly say that not once did I ever again sit down in the director's chair without feeling this was the most important assignment, the most creative opportunity of my life.  I have tried since then to apply that principle to EVERYTHING I do in life and to every relationship I have.

Let me bring this story home to you.  Students and young professionals often ask me how you get a break in the tv/film business, how do you advance in your career.  That's for another discussion -- but if after you've done all you know to do, as little or much as that may be, I encourage you to rest on THIS truth:   If you have asked God to guide your life -- to superintend what you do and who you know, where your life and your career is headed -- if your desire is with all your heart to serve His kingdom purpose in and through you, then rest assured that where you are right now, what you are doing today, IS precisely where He wants you and what HE wants you to do...even if it SEEMS to be far from the place you think you should be or want to be.   God may be wanting to teach you something important here -- or wants you to help someone else who He will bring across your path.   He may have you here to introduce you to someone who will someday figure in the future He has planned for you.  Only He knows WHY he has you here.  You don't need to know - not right now.   But if you trust Him and His perfect grace and purpose for you in everything, you'll discover a remarkable peace in your dream for meaning and achievement.  In the end, He'll get you where He wants you to be...trust me!    But on the way, may I also offer this bit of experienced advice?   Don't wait to learn this until YOU have to feel a spiritual baseball bat hit you up the side of the head to get your attention, like I did! 

"I'M GLAD IT'S RAINING,TONIGHT..."

Unless you're shooting a remake of the black and white classic "Last Picture Show" or "How The West Was Won",  West Texas doesn't jump out at you as a place to create intense drama, as a place to go to create ANY kind of drama, unless you enjoy wide open spaces, cows, and oil fields.   Not that it isn't a fine place to live and raise families.  It's just not at the top of the 'best film locations' list of the DGA (not that such a list actually exists - but if it did!)

I was in Lubbock with a television crew, covering Billy Graham's West Texas Crusade.  We had flown in six studio cameras (back when each one was the size of a small refrigerator!), a full remote control room, and enough television cable to circle the state (well, not quite the state...but a lot!).  Our control room was set up in a semi tractor trailer behind the grandstands of the University football stadium where the Graham meetings were being held.   As we prepared for the opening night, storm clouds began to darken the sky.  The forecast was for rain -- predicted for just about the time Billy Graham would be speaking.  We wrapped the cameras in plastic, erected umbrellas over the viewfinders, and hoped the the forecasters got it wrong.   They didn't!  As thousands of Texans crowded into the stadium it began to drizzle.  By the time Dr. Graham stood up to speak it was a steady rain.  By the time he was half way into his message, it was a 'Texas gully-washer'.  Translation: a torrential downpour.   The rain was pounding so hard on the metal roof of our control room I could barely communicate with my crew on headset.  My cameramen were spending more time wiping water from their lenses than lining up shots.  On stage, someone held an umbrella over Dr. Graham as he persevered on to the end of his message.  By now the  football field between the stage and the grandstand was a small lake.

Dr. Graham ended his message and then gave the invitation that he has given in cities around the world, for those desiring to have a personal relationship with God to come forward, stand in front of the stage, and join Dr. Graham in a prayer.  The choir began to sing "Just As I Am" as Dr. Graham stepped back from the podium and waited.  I aimed my cameras toward the aisles.  I need not have.  No one moved.  The choir sang another verse.  Still the field was empty.  Then Dr. Graham stepped forward and said "I'm GLAD that it's raining, tonight!"  ('You're the only one', I thought to myself!)   He continued.  "...Because if you come forward tonight in this miserable rain across this wet muddy field, you'll know that you were serious about giving your life to Jesus Christ.  Your decision will mean a lot more to you than if it were dry and you were comfortable.  So I'm glad it's raining!"   

The choir began to sing again.  And still no one moved...until, I saw him...a boy...not more than twelve or thirteen...a crutch under each arm, rain pouring down on his face...walking across that wet muddy football field toward Dr. Graham.  It was the most moving moment of the seven years I directed Billy Graham crusade telecasts around the world.  I cried.  Just about everyone in the control room cried.  Half the stadium was in tears.   And then, taking their cue from the courage of this young man, dozens, then scores, finally hundreds of others got out of their seats and followed his example.   It was a moment I will never forget -- nor will the thousands of people who sat in that football stadium to witness the faith of a young cripple boy who inspired hundreds of others to follow him to find God on a cold stormy night in West Texas. It may never make the list of great film locations, but it was one that night, and I'm glad, eternally glad, I was there!

MERE COINCIDENCE?

I was in Manila, The Philippines, shooting a television special with Dr. Billy Graham.  We filmed his message before an audience of  nearly 100,000 people in Rizal Park, near historic Manila Hotel that served as headquarters for Douglas MacArthur in World War II,  We then traveled around the country shooting other segments for the hour special.  I was stirred by the visit to Corregidor, where MacArthur famously uttered his promise "I shall return".  But I was unprepared for the site that greeted us at the entrance to the sprawling American military cemetery just outside Manila.  A sea of white marble crosses and Stars of David stretch as far as the eye can see and beyond, in every direction.  It is a moving site that reminds the visitor of the enormity of the sacrifice that has been made to keep us free.

I filmed a sequence with Dr. Graham with the cemetery behind him as he compared the sacrifice made by these young men and women for our political freedom with the sacrifice of Christ for our spiritual freedom.  When he finished,  I kept the crew behind to shoot 'B' roll footage of the cemetery to be inserted later in editing the sequence for television.

It occurred to me that it would be powerful to reveal the cemetery by starting on the name of someone with a mid-western 'All American next door boy' sounding name, then pull back to reveal a sea of markers as far as the eye could see.   The names are etched into the white marble of the markers so any name would only be recognizable for a couple of seconds before the bright sun would cause the name to blend into the marble, but I knew it would be powerful for those who caught those two seconds.   To make sure I had choices in editing, we filmed a dozen or so different markers in the same way, each time beginning on a different name, then pulling back to dramatically reveal the thousands of markers.

We finished filming, came home, and I screened all the footage.   I selected one of the several shots we had filmed at the cemetery, added music and narration, mastered the show and sent it off to broadcast.

The morning after the national telecast, I received a phone call from our Chicago office, asking if I'd heard the news?  What news?  Apparently the night before, an elderly gentleman was watching the program who, along with his brother, had fought in World War II.    His brother had gone missing in action during the war and the War Department  had lost all trace of what had happened to him.  The old man had long ago stopped praying to find his brother, but still he wondered what ever happened to him.  He sat down to watch Billy Graham as he had often done before.  But as he listened to Dr. Graham's message, the image dissolved to a small  white marble marker in a cemetery on the other side of the world, a marker that bore the name of his long lost brother.  The sun quickly overpowered the etched image and it blended with the white marble of thousands of others across the vast sea of the dead.  But in those brief two seconds, 35 years of wondering, praying, and longing were answered.  He had found his brother.

By the next morning, the network news had learned of what happened.  Radio commentator Paul Harvey reported the story to the nation.  A few days later the old man was on a plane to visit his brother's grave.

I've thought about that story many times.  Just coincidence?   Why did I choose to film that sequence at the cemetery?  Corregidor or somewhere else would have provided a dramatic backdrop as well.  Arriving at the cemetery, I could have set up my camera anywhere - in hundreds of spots on those hillsides,   I could  have then chosen any of dozens of markers near where we set up.  Returning to LA, I still had a dozen very good choices for the shot I eventually used.  Why THAT one?   Why was that elderly veteran watching that night?  A glance away from the screen for two seconds and he would have never found his brother's grave.   But I DID choose that marker and this dear man WAS watching and he DID find his brother.   As Paul Harvey ended his newscast by saying 'And that's the REST of the story'.

Whatever YOU may think, I believe I was unwittingly guided in all those choices by a loving God who who had chosen to use me to be part of answering this old man's prayer to know his brother's fate and be able to say 'goodbye' after 35 years.


Never under-estimate God's ability to use you in ways you don't know, to accomplish His will on behalf of someone you may never meet or know -- but whose life you will touch because God used you.  He's doing it  in all of our lives, more often, I dare say,  than any of us will ever know on this side of eternity.  Mere coincidence?  I don't think so!

"YES, DR. IVY?"

If you've worked in this business for any length of time, you've no doubt met (and probably at some time had to work with or under) producers or directors who seemed to enjoy exercising their authority over others - celebrities who flaunted their sense of superiority, all the while making you feel less than accepted or respected as an individual or as a professional.  But the REAL celebrities, the men and women who truly are STARS, seem to go out of their way to make you feel important, no matter who you are or what your position.  Billy Graham first did that for me.

I was about to meet 'the man' himself.  By then, the Rev. Billy Graham was already a household name around the world.  He had spoken face to face with more people than anyone in history, was a friend and confidant to every President since Dwight D. Eisenhower, "The Most Admired Man In America", according to a Gallup Poll.  And I had just been assigned by the ad agency I worked for and which had charge of his media production, to direct the Billy Graham television programs.

It was a heady assignment for a young director without a big network portfolio -- unlike the retiring director I was replacing.  Sonny Diskin was a veteran network television director who had covered the first NASA moon shots for ABC News.  What had I done?  Not much, not by then at any rate!

So here we were about an hour before Dr. Graham was to address thousands of people in one of his city-wide meetings, with a freshman tv director, me, about to helm the six camera 'live to tape' television coverage.  I was nervous as ('that place other than heaven'), though I made a noble effort to hide it!

I had already met Cliff Barrows and other officials of Dr. Graham's organization and they had accepted my boss's assurances that this 26 year old (who still looked 18 at the time!) was the right man for the job.  But I had yet to meet Billy Graham himself.  That was about to happen.   I entered a room just off of the stadium arena where Dr. Graham had been meeting with local dignitaries.  The head of the agency, my boss, Walter Bennett, and several others were there.  Dr. Graham was seated on a sofa at the far end of the room.  As I entered, he saw me, moved to one side, smiled and motioned for me to join him.  I sat down, turned to this great man of faith and worldwide fame, and blurted out, "Dr. Graham...."

I'm not sure what I had planned to say next, but before I could continue, he responded with "Yes, Dr. Ivy?"  I was caught off guard.  In the awkwardness of the moment that followed, he leaned across the sofa, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "I'll tell you what, Tom.  If you don't call me 'Dr. Graham', I won't call you 'Dr. Ivy'.  Agreed?"  I replied 'yes sir'.  He continued, "You can call me Bill or Billy or whatever you like, but you don't need to call me 'Dr. Graham', okay?  I smiled and nodded.   He went on to ask me about my family, my church, welcomed me to the Billy Graham team, and ten minutes later I was facing a bank of television monitors directing my first Billy Graham telecast.  I would do scores of others over the next eight years in cities across America and capitals around the world.  It would become a lifelong friendship that I treasure to this day.

Charlton Heston was another true 'star' in the firmament of celebrities I have had the privilege to observe close up.  Several years ago, I traveled around the world with Chuck, his wife Lydia, and daughter Polly,  on a production that took us to some of the remotest out-of-the-way corners of the globe.  Whenever he entered a room, Chuck would walk around and introduce himself to everyone there in a totally unassuming gesture of friendship.  Though at the time he was one of the most famous actors in the world, he made everyone in his presence feel relaxed and valued.

One time in the Bangkok Airport, waiting for a flight with Chuck and a film crew, we were all ushered into a private waiting room.  There was no air conditioning and everyone was hot and uncomfortable.  After awhile, Chuck excused himself and left the room.  When he returned, he had managed to rustle up bottles of cold beer for everyone, and he proceeded to pass them out like a dutiful production assistant with the comment, "...Thought this might help!"   Charlton Heston was a REAL STAR!

Bringing this home...  No matter where YOU are on the ladder of success, and you may still consider yourself on a pretty 'low rung',  there are nonetheless others who see themselves lower than you on the proverbial totem pole.  Make them understand by what you say and how you behave that you consider them to be just as important as you, that you respect them as equals, even as you both respect your respective professional positions.   You will not only receive their respect, you may gain their friendship.  If they sense you are genuine in your feelings, you will also gain their admiration.  When the time comes, and I speak from experience, they will repay you by giving you their very best, just as I felt compelled to do for Billy Graham and Charlton Heston and others like them over the years.  "Yes, Dr. Ivy?"